Books on etiquette and manners

Wandering around Hatchards of Piccadilly this evening, I was struck by how many books on manners and etiquette seem to have suddenly popped up. I counted no fewer than 8 different titles on prominent display. Now Hatchards is a civilised and traditional bookseller, but this nonetheless says something about the state of society.

Perhaps a lot of people are concerned about the breakdown of manners, and the “me first”, “rights before duties”, relativistic society which political correctness encourages which we all now have to suffer. We can only hope so.

Looking through the books, one wonders if they are poking fun at the admirable manners of bygone eras, which would be typical of the sneering leftist cynicism and inverted eltism that is so common nowadays. But perhaps not. They are cashing in, no doubt, but that’s the nature of the marketplace, and it is far better that people cash in by producing books such as these than idiotic “chick lit” books which promote misguided selfish values or yet more books (ghost written) by celebrities.

The advice in the books is sometimes cast in feminist terms (perhaps they couldn’t get in print at all otherwise?) as the authors try to reconcile the grace and humility valued in – and by – women in the past with the aggression and ugly egotism so vaunted today. But on the whole the advice to both sexes is good and should be taken seriously.

Can people even be taught manners? Or is an insensitive oaf destined to always remain an insensitive oaf? That’s an interesting question. But people can be taught manners. Just as a person with little innate musical ability might never play a musical instrument as well as a natural, they can in most cases at least be taught to play.

The earlier this happens, the better, of course. But if people are not taught early, as many thousands now are not (and they are hardly set a good example by the media) then they should be forced to behave with manners later, the society around them bringing any necessary sanctions to bear on them. That is called civilisation.